“This is Jake Tepper from MSNBC here at the Washington Monument just outside of DC and we are here to bring to you the long-awaited ‘State of Verdugo” speech from coach Gee and let me tell you…we’ve been waiting a long time for this one!”
“there you see Gee shaking hands with everyone before he addresses the crowd….and he finally makes his way to the microphone. Actually, I never thought he would even make it to the microphone after that huge crowd of people mobbing him! Wow….this is incredible to see! It looks like he’s gained some weight….and looks like he’s lost some hair….but there is no doubt about it …..that IS Gee!”
“Wait….Shhhh……he’s about to speak!”
Gee: “As our crippled country moves forward….All eyes of the nation are on Verdugo. That’s why I’ve been called in by the United National Guard to deliver this speech today. And there is no irony that I’ve been called in on Christmas Day to deliver this epic pontification. We’ve remained silent for over 30 years, and honestly, I can’t blame the masses who no longer are quietly waiting for Verdugo to speak. The riots we’ve seen over the past 30 years are reflective of decades of impatient Americans and many other nations around the world all wanting to know “what does Verdugo have to say?”
“well…I’m here to say…………….”……(Gee……obviously with nothing prepared to say blurts out)……….”They’ve DONE IT!” (ten minutes of uninterrupted explosions of crowd noise from the 2 million in attendance)
(Gee waits patiently for the crowd noise to die down)
“and make no mistake about it……we will continue to DO IT!” (Eruptions of the massive crowd exploding in approval) Gee raises a clenched fist!
(Gee laughs and says under his breath away from the microphone) “Dude ….What is this?”
“I mean……Uhhhhh……FUCK NOTRE DAME” (deafening roars of approval from the huge crowd)
Gee lights a cig and smiles and waits for the noise to die down.
“and finally…..Merry Christmas to Verdugo!…..to the rest of you….go light your useless asses on fire!…..I mean……look at you people!……you should be home with your families!……GET A LIFE!” (The camera quickly cuts away as thousands of people begin to immerse themselves in flames!)
“Jeez….He’s still got it! I’m Jake Tepper….from MSNBC….back to you Carol”………….the camera catches Tepper grabbing a bucket of gasoline and pouring it over his own head. Gee takes his lit cig and flicks it at Tepper and the massive crowd explodes in approval as Tepper goes up in flames!
Carol: “ohhhhhh……my…..G……”
IMMEDIATE CUT TO COMMERCIAL
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