The same game that all five coaches got kicked out for NOT chewing tobacco………there was yet more drama.
Garrett Lee, who had given up that first inning home run had settled into quite a groove. He retired 17 of the next 20 hitters he faced. Birmingham had one player who was a pretty big boy, but none of it was muscle if you know what I mean. He came up around the middle of the game and hit a high towering fly ball to center. It was in the air like….forever. As it was coming down someone on our bench yelled “can of corn” to our center fielder. Easy catch………easy play.
Have you heard that before? I have. I remember the phrase “can of corn” since …like…Little League.
All of a sudden the big overweight player gets all pissed that we said “can of corn” like it was a reference to his heft or something. Then his mom in the stands started bitching about it. She was like severely obese. We just kind of chuckled in the dugout amongst ourselves…in disbelief that these two people thought the phrase “can of corn” had some kind of hidden meaning. This lady just wouldn’t let it go. She was carrying on about it and wouldn’t shut up.
Finally ‘Ol Gee had to say something. Here is what was said:
Gee to Severely Obese Mother: “Hey why don’t you save all of that for a REAL crisis?”
Severely Obese Mother to Gee: “Crisis? You’re the crisis!”
Fielder’s Dad to Severely Obese Mother: “What are you stupid haven’t you ever heard of the phrase ‘can of corn?'”
Man in stands to Fielder’s Dad: “Hey don’t talk to my wife like that.”
Fielder’s Dad to Husband of Severely Obese Mother: “That’s your wife?”
Husband of Severely Obese Mother to Fielder’s Dad: “Yeah!”
Fielder’s Dad to Husband of Severely Obese Mother: “My condolences”…………………..
End of conversation.
verdugo288 
Classic Rusty Fielder. He’s still talking shit that insites riots and laughter. Donation to the cause Pop?
Mr. Fielder was classic!! He shoulda had on a jersey himself!!!! I think he’s thee only parent that ever got run from one of our games!!!! “Have we got uh deal or what!?!?!?!” AHHHHHHHH MR. FEILDER!!!!! AHHHH!!! AHHHH!!!!
What about the time I got run…Fielders dad….and Hack’s Dad got run….as I left the game, the chicken shit ump, (who just rang my ass up on a 3-2, two out, bases loaded curveball that was over my head for my only 2nd strikeout of the year)…. CS ump said (as I threw my helmet into right filed and made my bat do a Mary Lou Retton into the dugout….):
“Hey Canale…playing in the All Star game Saturday?….guess who is behind home plate?”….that is when the patriarchs took over! All I know is, I was BLARING…”THE END” from the Doors….out on the street, b/c umpire kicked me out of the stadium! Rusty, Don…they followed, told the ump he was a chicken shit for trying to intimidate me……then Turn-ah….was inspired by the Doors blasting from the right field line, had a great game …I do believe we won that game!
Bull Oxen and his antics!! Nobody knew how to throw the shit out of a helmet and bat better than the Bull!!! Weapon was pretty damned good at it, but he was better at just flat out gettin’ run for choosin’ out the ump… The Bull Oxen though….It was a whole different event…It was almost like some kind of Performance Art…. First he’d get those ears fired up….beat fuckin’ red!! then went the cheeks and forehead….before you knew it he’s grittin’ his teeth, cussing the whole time with chaw juice spewing out of his mouth…walkin’ on the balls of his feet as he gained momentum…then went the fuckin’ bat on one of those wrist flips sending half the team scurrying for cover….But that was only the beginning….It was the helmet you had to watch out for…cuz by then he usually made his way into the opening of the dugout and the ricochet effect would come into play…I’d almost rather get hit by the bat than that hard thin visor of those helmets…sometimes he’d go with the usual straight down power throw that would usually give a nice true hop, but if he was in a particularly foul mood, he’d throw that thing like a god damned frisbee or discus and that’s when things got hairy!!! I remember that game…and I’m glad you reminded me that Hack’s Pop got run too!!! I remember hearing the other teams fans cheering as they both had to leave the stands…It was the weakest shit ever!!! But inside I was like….”Fuck yeah…our parents are down for us and they ain’t takin’ no shit either!!!!!”….How could you not put an ass kicking on the other team after that!?!?!?!? All I remember, is the umpire sayin’ something to Fielders dad about “shuttin’ up before he got run too”….Then Fielders dad replied… “I’ll tell you what…you stop screwing our kids…and I’ll shut the hell up”….at that point i coulda sworn the whole place went dead silent…cuz all I heard was Mr. Fielders voice go up 3 nothces…and 2 Octaves….as he finished it off with… “HAVE WE GOT UH DEAL OR WHAT!?!?!?!?”…..LMAO….That’s when the rest of our fans kicked and and almost started to sound like we did when were lighting someones titties up on the mound…..Needless to say…..Ol’ Rusty got run….That’s when Hack’s dad got into the fray I believe….I didn’t recall that ump trying to intimidate Bull Oxen as he left the field….had I heard that I probably woulda lost it myself!! One thing we never let get by, was someone tryin to fuck with our players…..But, of course Bull didn’t go quietly…apparently he was blasting the Doors in his ride as he waited for the Verdugo onslaught to be completed…. Ahhhhhh finding a way to get The Reverend comfy at the plate!!!! Was that the game somebody sabotaged the Field Keeping Tractor???? lmao….Ahhhhhh Fieldah and Hack’s parents!!!!
The ONLY guy who ever struck out BullOxen was the UMP!!!!