verdugo288

I always enjoyed watching our new recruits in their first season.  They weren’t really aware of  “how we do it” at Verdugo.   Sure, they had the uniform and everything else, but they didn’t really know “How we roll” at Verdugo.  It was fun watching their faces during the first few games of each season.  The smile they’d get on their faces when they’d hear one of our veteran players say something to another player or coach that just totally crossed the line.   They were like “wowwwwwwwwww”…you can say that here?”  So it was a great dynamic….the veteran players who had already spent a summer or two at Verdugo showing the ropes to the rookies.

I particularly liked it when a stray foul ball came over towards our dugout and the new recruit would pick up the ball and make a perfect toss to the umpire or opposing player or coach.   Most of the players by then had realized that not too many things bothered me and I didn’t get too pissed off (at least at OUR players) and that I ran a pretty loose ship.  However, when one of the new recruits grabbed a foul ball and made a perfect throw to an ump or opposing player or coach I would always say “What are you doing?”  I made it look like I was upset….and General would be sitting in the dugout with me just shaking his head like he was all pissed off. 

“No, no, no” we would say.  “Don’t EVER do that again!”

The player would be looking at us like “what did I do wrong?”

And so would begin our first “teachable moment” with our new player. 

We would then pull him aside and say………..”dude……this is Verdugo here”………….”you can’t make a good throw to that guy, he’s the enemy!”

“So what should I have done?”………..the new player would ask.

“You gotta short-hop him!” we would say.

The new player would then get this evil little grin on his face and realize that every time a foul ball came over he could short-hop either an ump or member of the opposition.  You could just see the guys wheels turning………it was always hilarious. 

Invariably, the new recruit was ready to go get just about every foul ball he could his hands on to give that nice “tweener” hop and leave a little bruise mark on someone’s shins, ankles, wrists, forearms, whatever.  However, there was still one part of the equation that they never had right until we further instructed them.  We would let them unload the first time just to get the feel of dishing out a nice “short-hop.”  At this point they were pretty proud of themselves…until I said “what are you doing?”

And so began the second “teachable moment” with the new player.

We would then instruct the player on how to “make a sale” to the person he had just injured.  Dishing out a great short-hop is easy……..it’s making the opposition BELIEVE that it was an accident that is the key to effectively “short-hopping” someone.  

We would then have several veterans in the dugout teaching the new player how to “make that sale”………

Some guys would instruct about the correct facial expression to make…..or how to have “understanding eyes”……..or how to say “my bad blue”……..a quick wave…….maybe bring the ump a glass of water in between innings just to let him know how sorry you really are.  Tell the guy on the other team something like “damn that one just kinda got away from me, sorry man.”  But they key thing to do (at least until you turn your back and whoever you short-hopped cannot see your face) is to NEVER SMILE.  In fact………how long can you go without smiling?  In fact……how long can the whole dugout go without smiling?  It became kind of a game-within-the-game.  Incidentally, by now you should know who started all of this shit with the short-hopping during our first season in 1990………..yes, it was HANK.  And nobody could short-hop someone better than Hank. 

It was priceless…….by mid-season everybody had it down.  And I would just sit there quietly when a foul ball would roll over towards our dugout.  And as one of our guys was picking it up…several other guys in the dugout would cover their mouths and pretend like they were coughing or some bullshit and say “Short-hop him!!!” at a volume that no one could hear except us.  Then the player who picked up the ball (while keeping  a straight face) would deliver a brilliant short-hop  and inflict a little pain on either our opponent or an ump.  Then, after the short-hop was completed…the player who threw it (and several other members in the dugout) would apologize and show looks of concern about the well-being of the oblivious recipient.  Some guys would even take a few steps out of the dugout to make it look really good…as if they were available to help assist with medical attention if needed.  Some guys would even pretend they were mad at the guy who threw it.  And we’d all start laughing about it 5 or ten minutes later.  And usually laughing HARD about it.

You know, you’re never TOO OLD to short-hop someone.   I do it all the time on the golf course…….what can I say?  I just can’t help it………….I’ll be 51 here in just a few weeks and I still can’t stop short-hopping people.   And they say Golf is a “Gentleman’s Game.”……………..